Archive for October, 2012


 

 

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We will start with the most misconstrued term in Poly. “triad” maybe, second only to a unicorn. Unicorns are white and they glitter >.>

By the way, these high class drawings where done by me, on the wacom tablet. You can make monitary donations to my paypal address.

A ‘T’ realationship is what most people’ think’ they want. But for that thrid person to be there, they rely on a & b to be happy and together. I am not a huge fan of this, since it to me is forcing someone to love someone that they may not

The triangle up there, is what we format after. each person goes on dates without a third, for THEM time. We also all go out as a family.

NEXT GRAPH

 

Clusters. I like this term. Its easy to say “in our cluster”. because then i COULD be referring to my girlfriends, boyfriends wife. and it still is in the ‘cluster’

I figure the two familys I formatted off of for this graph where pretty simple. I am sure tehre are much more complex ones.

 

 

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3 movies – 10 days of me

I dont really watch movies. I watch documentries…

1) For the bible tells me so.
This movie talks about the DEVASTATING consequences religions (christianty) has on people, specifically the LGBT community. It made me mad, and hurt. But I had happy moments, I reccomend this over and over. It also mentions what the bible really says abotu homosexuaity, which, is, it doesnt.

2) My flesh and blood
A movie about adoption. I cried alot andlaughed alot.

 

3) Food inc.

Want a good scare watch it…

4 books – 10 days of me

These books, are not in an order.
These are the books that since I have read them, and some where over 10 years ago, lines still haunt my thoughts.
Images from them are burned in my heart.
The tears I shed in these books where real.
They taught me life lessons.

They have impacted me in a very profound way.

I didnt pick these because they are THE BEST OF THE BEST. But ffor what they meant to Me.

 

1)http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/227781.Girls_in_Trouble

The bathtub scene in this book is burned in my brain. The emotions, the hurt, the betrayl. I read this the year it came out

 

2)http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/3720975-handle-with-care

 

I read this in 2010. It was an audio book infact. Sobbed my freaking heart out dozens of times.

 

3)http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/1176502.The_Stones_of_Mourning_Creek

 

I have re read this book I think 3 times. I always recommend it still.

 

4)http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/316445.Luna

 

Read it. just read it.

 

 

5 foods! – 10 days of ME

1) Alfredo sauce

2) Sushi

 

3) Miso soup

4) Black beans

 

5) feta cheese

6 places – 10 days of me

1) Home. It isnt a place to me though. It is where I laugh and feel loved and wanted

2) inside the arms of a hug. Maybe my favorite place ever.

3) My apartment. I love it so. It is my happy zone.

4) Ru’s house. I feel valued there. I feel important. I am treated like an adult and my thoughts and views are treated as such.

5) The ocean. So far, I’ve only been once.  It is breath taking.

6) I already have two variatios on this, but this is hoe important to me it is. With people I love and am loved by.

 

The hardest thing for me, in my relationships, in any form. Is to hold them with open hands. Not to grab them furiously and say “Mine. I wont share.” or “No. I didnt say you could leave.”
Holding a relationship in open hands to me means saying “I value you. I value your independance and freedom to choose. You can hang out, or you can not. You can stay for as long as the universe allows, or you ay choose to leave.” With that statement comes many things.

 

Myself and a few people have discussed before, that one of the most empowering parts of that. Is that when you wake up the next day, or week, or month ro year even. That when someone is STILL standing by your side. Still holding your hand. Still saying “I love you” That you KNOW it’s because they WANT to. Not because they HAVE to. It can be a mind blowing thing, to think, ‘they still pick me’

 

One of the most terrifying parts of that process? Is if they leave. That will hurt no doubt. I hope to be able to, like I can on past friendships, look back and be happy for what I had.

Holding with open hands is not defining what doesnt need defined. Chi is Chi. She Is. We refer to her in dozens of ways. But she is our Chi. Bugg, he is Bugg. He is my best friend. He is the one who is my rationality. He brings to me a level of support, that I assure you, I can not explain in a way that it would make sense, unless you have it. Bugg will carry me, when my depression is so great, That I can not stand. Bugg will talk down my anxiety to rationality when I am irrational.  Bugg and Chi both laugh with me. Cry with me, worry with me. They coo when I have a crush. They cheer when I succeed. They are my biggest supporters in every non self destructive thing I do. We tease, we laugh, we poke fun at. But at the end of the day, we love.
I am trying hard to remember open hands. With closed fists, nothing can leave. But with closed fists nothing new can come into them.

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