Archive for July, 2014

Dreamer has school registration in two days. Tuesday. We will all o and sign him up and then the week after orientation.

We have discussed homeschooling him if school doesnt go as hoped, and we may just homeschool him because we can. I was K-12 homeschooled and I plan on doing such with my future child(ren) so Dreamer may get the same chances as well.


Tomorrow I a going to the next town over to see my grandparents. It is my grandmas birthday so I am going to see her before work.


Cinder has a pre job thing to go to for FedEx on tuesday as well.


Its been decided that Final will be coming right around october 1st, I put in for the time off today so that I will have 5 days off.

I wont be making it out to see Chris in September. He is failing to attend class, failing to maintain correct probation and in general he is NOT making smart choices. Thus it is not, I dont feel, smart for me to entrust him with care of me for 4 days in a city that I have and know NO ONE in. He will take this news well (NOT).

My most recent bane of my exsistance is somehow poly=/=whore. Im gonna hit a coworker soon. Just saying





Dreamer starts school this fall! That means my polycule will have a kid in SCHOOL! Next week is his registration and then the week after (I think) is the orientation. We decided we will all be going since, Dreamer does in fact, have three parents. I am excited for him and yet nervous at the same time. I think my biggest concern is how will it be received that he has two moms and a dad. Cinder is all worried because his little boy is starting school and Nightwish seems to be greeting it all in stride. I asked Dreamer today what he was going to tell his class mates, Would he say he has Two moms? “No! I only have one mom! I have one dad and I have a Sindri! Who is like a mommy!” He seems to have it under control. Myself having been homeschooled I have no idea what school is like, what it looks like, how meeting teachers goes etc etc. It will be a learning experience for me as well. But I am excited for him and I look forward to it.


We also chit chatted about last names and childrens names for my future children. I am currently childless by choice. My plan has been about 27-29 to start thinking about the kids thing. I decided that after my recent divorce if 28 rolled around and I was still not settled and childless, that I was going to look at the single mom thing. Having a child is important to me. Being married, not so much. I firmly believe that familys take many shapes, that there is nothing wrong with one mom, or one dad. one of each, two of each or a unit who raises a child. After all, one mom who loves you very much and works very hard to be the best she can be is better than no mom.

So would I change my last name to Cinder’s? Probably someday. What about my future kids? It was decided that I would name Cinders’s child his last name and then if I have a child with Final, as I hope to, it would share his last name most likely. What do I want to name my kids? Final and I have discussed this at length a few times and the names for that are pretty sealed. Xana for a girl and Xander for a boy.

What about with Cinder or if I was to be a single mom? My heart has long been set on the girls name McKelti Irene-Rene. I am not budging on that. Nope. Not a smidge. I have fallen in love with that name and thus it shall me. A boys name I have a bit more leeway, which, is funny to me. I have always said if I got to pick and I only had one, that I want a son. So, then you would logically think my boys name would be as settled as a girls. No. I was in love with the name Jayden for a long time and I already used it for a pet. Shannon and Orion are my leading two boys names.


Then in the difficult range, Nightwish, Cinder and I had a go of it this evening. It remains to be seen yet how the night will finish out. I am at my home tonight, Cinder and Nightwish at theirs. Though Cinder may really end up here after he and her are done hashing it out.

In random other noise, I hung out with Pyros when I was in The Big City. I forgot how nice he was. He also may become my new play thing. I have doubts that  it will ever really happen, but I will give it the old school try.




CxD is leaving on sunday. She s moving to the big city. I can only express my feelings about this in tears, with anger, with tightly fisted hands, by yelling. I am shattered. I don’t have words for how much I am hurting over it.


Please dont take my sunshine away….


I am frustrated with everything about trying to go to germany. I feel as if every move I try to make is fully dictated for me.


I am not in a good mood today.

77174c52489ec440074cb53082136c06My life is pretty perfect right now. I am so blessed. I have a wonderful girlfriend and couple and a kiddo who adore me.

Today I spent my time at work thinking about things like kids and what a long term relationship meant to me.
I am ready to start thinking about kids in probably a year. I am ready for a kid. Dreamer would be a great big brother should I still be with them. Which, I hope and plan to be. He would be about 6-7 years older, big gap but then he will be able to ‘help’.


I am ready to start looking at settling down some. Settling down into a permanant polycule family and stay put. I think I have alot of it worked out and it seems to be settling fairly well.

I sure miss Kitty lots… I want to see him again. I want his kiss, his hugs, his touch. I miss my kitty…