We went and had our anatomy ultrasound and well as the gender thing. I am going to be having a boy. I am really excited, though for a moment I concidered that I may really reevaluate that I may want a total of three kids. What if two boys drive me to insanity? Ru’s advice is to wait until Jax is close to 2 1/2 or 3 then consider. Which makes sense, since realistically I carry the traits for things such as autism and adhd. If he has either of those or various other issues, I am not saying no to another kid, but I dont want to feel like right in the middle of the critical time of getting him diagnosed if he needs it and starting therapys that I will be right in the middle of another pregnancy or birth.

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I cried like a total sap when we found out that it was a boy. I was able to say he was named and finally its more real. He will be here sooner then I know, He will be busy, and rambunctious and fantastic. The little boy will have my heart on a string.

I almost attacked the ultrasound tech, and may have slightly verbally. She told me that I ‘was sure prepared by having a name already picked out’. I informed her that getting any level of medical care so far has been an uphill battle. That right now I still didnt know WHERE I was going to live when the baby was here, that I didnt know if i would stay home or work. I knew nothing about anything. Only that I could promise to my baby that he was wanted and loved. That meant that picking out his or her name, meant in my mind I had somehow done SOMETHING for him. I had named him. I had picked what he would be called.

 

I am sure though that I will never know what a stocked fridge looks like again. Because Boys. I will wonder what washing laundry without Oxyclean is like, because boys. I will fully understand the definition of boy – A noise with dirt on it.

I will come to really dispise lame manipulative girlfriends someday. I will never have pleaded so hard for a kid to either just dont have sex, or for heavens sake use a condom.

But in the end, I will have a darling little boy.

 

I am excited. It has taken me a LONG time to come to this point. Many blog articles read of other moms who have been on a similar journey to mine. But I am ready. Now we just have to make it th rest of this pregnancy, who is half over now.

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