I need to clear some things up about our relationship with CxD. S and I are in what is called a “non-monogamous triad”, which may also be called Polyamory. Polyamory is a hybrid word from Greek “poly” meaning more than one, and Latin “amor” meaning love. This means that we are all equal members in this family, and we all have an equal say in family matters, as well as love and life in general.
Cxd is an equal member of our family and myself and S would appreciate it if everyone could just call her CxD, and not “sister”.
There are some things that people tend to ask when couples come out as “poly”, so I wanted to address them now, to nip them in the bud.
1. Why stay married?
We are each others best friend, we love each other very much, watch out for each other, we want to grow old together, which are the same reasons that most people want to stay married.
2. What about jealousy?
Jealousy is a fact of life. However, it’s not as debilitating we feared it would be. It is battled best by being secure within ones relationship. S, CxD and I have nightly talks about our feelings, and address any problems head on instead of letting them simmer until they boil over.
3. Are you/we happy?
Honestly, I am happier at this point in my life with S and CxD than I have ever been. At first I was worried that I would pay too much attention to one or the other and upset them, but this has not materialized at all, and in fact I seem to love them more and more with each passing day.
I know that you may not know or understand this “new fad”, but S, CxD and I all feel this is more suited for us, and none of us could be any happier. So I am asking you to just accept things as they are. Judge if you must and pray for us if it eases your disappointment.
If you would like to discuss this with me in an adult manner, here are some guidelines I that need to be followed for all our sakes:
* Accusatory and or hurtful statements will not be accepted under any circumstances.
* Please give time before responding so that responses are not emotionally fueled, but rather thought through so we can talk about it like the adults we are.
* Further discussion is allowed, however, if it crosses respectful boundaries it will not be discussed or replied to.
I figured I would let you know now, and lessen any shock you might feel around Christmastime.
I love you and my dad and all my brothers and sister.
Your son, Bug; your daughter S, and CxD
P.S. PLEASE remember that we are the same people we were before you read this letter. Three people who love life, who love to laugh, and who are trying to leave a positive impact on the world.