Archive for April, 2013

Long time traveling…

In 24 hours I will board a plane and go home.
I will return to the mid west. I am 100% convinced, we are moving here. It may take a few years, but we are.
There are poly parent family’s here. Poly family’s period.
The diversity is fantastic.
Japan town is awesome.
The weather.

In 24 hours I will return to the Midwest kicking and screaming.
My heart is here. I love north California more than I loved south California.




I made a map of every place i have traveled. There was 57 marks on it. Those have all been since I was 16, so it covers 9 years.


Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to FEEL like I live at home. To enjoy being in one place.

I have resigned to not knowing what that feels like. I always am traveling, in some way or other. I put thusands of miles on my car driving, spend my extra money on plane tickets.

It is my life. I am a modern day great traveler. I love to travel.

In 3 days I will be landing on the far side of the USA. In San Jose California. I am ready.

To sex? or not to sex…

Ever time I mention sex in a post, it gets like 3x the ratings and read of ANYTHING else I write.
Sex sells.
Maybe I should make a blog of EVERYONE I have sex with, and tell you EVERY DETAIL. I bet then I’d be the most popular blogger evar……

Probably not actually…
If you want a blog all about sex Go here. There is much about sex there. They do all sorts of toy and porn reviews usually. Stuff on swinging, stuff on poly, and stuff on sex.

h look! I found a graph again! (I like pictures.. They make things more interesting)

Though, the not able to change stuff on that kind of bothers me… Regardless!

Heterosexual – You like the opposite gender! YAY!

Homosexual –   You like the SAME gender!

Bisexual – You like both men and women (not the same as pansexual)

Pansexual – You like ALL gender identities  not just, male identity and male parts or women and women parts. You like people for personalities.

Heteroflexable – your interest lies mostly in the opposite gender but you would not rule out the same. Its flexable,

Homoflexable – You like the same gender, but  would not rule out the opposite gender.

Take all of that! And then you can have your picks and choose PLUS

Aromantic – You are not interested in romance. It isnt your thing. That cute messages? Super sweet ifts etc. Yeah, just doesnt do it for you.

Asexual – Sex isnt really a huge things for you. You may LIKE sex, but dont really have an overwhelming sex drive.


None of this makes you weird, broke, odd or whatever. It is all very interchangeable. It can always change.

At some point I hope to make a post of fetish and kink related things




So. This stuff. Above. It can be kinda complicated. Growing up, most of us were taught that it was easy, you are either a boy, or a girl, and you like boys or girls. TADA! Easy as pie!

Except…. That isnt really how it works… Because you see…




Only recently Was transgender removed as a mental illness.


So, Gender Identity. What gender do you FEEL like. This is can be fairly fluid. One member of my core family is gender fluid, as is another of our outlying cluster.
What does this mean? It means that they may go months at a time identifying as one gender, days, or even hours. Then, it can switch. These two even go by different names depending.

I consider myself to be Gender Queer. Meaning, I dont feel like either very strongly.

There is also non gendered, and the more commonly known genders, ALL female or ALL male.

Gender Expression . How do you express yourself? You may identify as a Male, but enjoy dressing as a woman, full time even! <~ that is Kimberly Tiffany. I know and adore this person. I met him at an event I worked at 2 years ago, and have seen him the following years. This year, I cant wait to spend more time with him. Kimberly is a great hugger, and always has on a great smile. Stellar person all around! Also: makes adorable fairy outfits himself.

I gender express as a female mostly. Usually, out of convience, and… I have to many curves as of right now to pass very well otherwise. Plus, I am a pretty big fan of boobs and cleavage.

There is, also, Androgyny.

(I have a soft spot for Androgyny… it makes me SUPER weak in the knees… Just so you know…)

Biological sex. This is not something I know much about besides fairly basic. It has to do with your external sex organs. But, it may not be the ones you where born with, you may not have all female ones, or all male ones. So, I will move on to the next topic before I say something that is wrong

Attracted to sexually.  What gender do you find most attractive? Females? Males? both? None? Somewhere in between? does it even matter to you? Females that present as males? males that present as females?
This also can change during your life time.
Do you have a ‘type’? or is it kinda all over?

I consider myself pretty pansexual. Ie. I LIKE people. I tend to crush on people who I connect with, who are genuene, who laugh and who I find attractive as a person. Gender is a lesser to me.
But I lean more towards girls… By a large amount. I do have a relationship with a guy, and I adore him. I have had crushes on other guys also.

Attracted to Romatically. Pretty much the same as above


Next post? We are going to jump over to sexuality a little deeper.


S&M and other kink things

My trip. is in 5 days. I am working on picking my clothes. 6 months ago when I went, I didnt really have anything cute to take, I weighed 30 pounds more, and I just did NOT have clothes.

This time. I do. I have a huge array of shorts, and mini skirts for our various evening activities.

I dont think I have really covered a lot of my ‘other interests’. I am new to the Kink scene. This will be my first full jump into a world.

I will be watched and kept safe by a Sadist and a Dom who I trust dearly.

Am I a sub or a dom? Naturally, if you know me, you would probably lean towards saying I am a dom. I have very dom tendancys, and it could come pretty easy. I would probably self identify as a switch. Because being a submissive to someone, is hard for me. It requires discipline. It is not something that is easy for me. But when I have someone who is watching out for me, guiding me, and keeping me safe. I love it.

I would love to be collared someday.

The same person I am visiting, also happens to me a Sadist. one happy freaking sadist.
and I? am a pretty shameless masochist.

I am SUPER nervous. I have NEVER done a scene before. I have never been at a location set up for scenes, or with someone who I feel safe with.

I. Cant. Wait.


A year goes by… And I… Can’t talk about it.

There is many things I think I can talk about. Then, I realize, I really can’t; Or that I just don’t want to.

I started seeing a therapist. He has not really started asking, but grazed over it last week. It is going to be brought up, I know it.

When I was 17, My dad did a suicide attempt. He coded. Multiple times. He was taken to a hospital equipped to handle the damage he had done. It took three stops at hospitals to get him to his final stop. He doesnt remember any of it. He remembers waking up in a hospital with the pastor of the church I grew up in there. He remembers saying “I didnt know God wore glasses.”

I was not allowed to see him for 3 days, until he was released from his hold and turned over to a mental health hospital.

He called me before he attempted it. All he said was “I love you, Take care of the family. I can’t any more”

He felt like he failed so bad, that he even failed at killing himself.

No, I don’t want to really talk about it.

I am a happy person. I discribe myself as happy. I am optimistic, I am always looking to move forward.
But in my closet, there are things like this.

‘An old soul’. I have been told I have an old soul for a large portion of my life. That old souls, know more then they should at there age, and carry more with them than others. It is what I am. It is who this life has helped me become.

I love my life, I love myself, My family, my friends. But some times, while doing innocent things, like driving in the car? These memories just show up