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The time has come…

I’ve decided to close this blog.

This section of my life, or almost 3-4 years it covers I feel is complete.

With Oliver due any day now, James and I having officially gotten married and moved, I feel like it’s time.

I’ll still be in the blog world so fret not.

It will just be as one of those typical mom bloggers, who writes about how my baby coo’d today, and how I became a Manager at work.

I will stay in touch in some other way.

Thank you all for being faithful readers.

This will stay up until I have time to back print and save all of my entries.

So long, farewell and something about fish


Because my work has a bizarre sense of humor.


I have all of Olivers stuff set up. The car has been cleaned and the car seat installed. Bassenet in our room set up. All of Dreamers stuff is done. Just need to get him a booster seat.
I have the paperwork to fill out to take 11 weeks off of work.
His childcare is set up for when I go back to work.
House is nit pick clean because I’ve nested it.
All of his baby clothes are put up and washed.
Photographer is paid for for his newborn pictures.

Baby! Show up!!!!

Oh. And as of the 20th Cinders divorce was legally granted with an established parenting plan with visitation and child support assigned. Thank goodness that is done




Work messed up my schedule yesterday and I made them fix it. They scheduled me 40 hours and 5  eight hour days in a row. Which I have drs notes that say 35 hours and no more than 7 hour shifts. I also have papers letting me have extra breaks and a stool. So I had to explain to my manager that it needed fixed. Ever so helpfully so offered that for the new schedules coming out I was only 35 hours.
I dead pan looked at her and replied “awesome. Except. I won’t be here.”
I don’t think my managers without kids understand how this works. They have to come out.

I try not to be nasty. But re ally the fact is that I live in the United states. That second only to Papua new Guinea has the shittiest maternity leave for employed women world wide. Go ‘merica.
I get 6 weeks unpaid off. I might manager to get 8. No pay. No guarantee of my actual position back. If I have to be off longer than 12 weeks I can kiss my job good bye.
I am going to end up losing my private health insurance as it is. I will have to stay on state for a year.

Talked to dr. Will be getting IUD put back in at 6 weeks.

Mack is coming today to get the sound system out of the civic. Because I have no trunk space, and with 2 boys for the summer I really won’t have space.

I’m hoping next year to use my EIC tax credit to buy the Ford focus station wagon off of Dragon mom. It fits 3 car seats 2 adults and a whole hell of a lot of trunk room still.
Otherwise I’ll probably save 4k of it and then in 2017 use the 7 or 8k total to buy a second car.

I want a dodge dart >.> but probably won’t end up with one. I mean a mustang counts as a mom car right?

People are mean

Some jerk face dumped a little 8 week old calico kitten in our hallway last night.
Our apartments have closed in halls that are indoors leading to our apartments. So they just opened the door and tossed her in.



So Cinder heard meowing and opened the hall door to find out which neighbors cat had gotten into the hall (it happens. We all know what cats live where now) and in waltzed a tiny cat.

One if my coworkers will be adopting her when she gets home from vacation next week. We can’t keep her (2 pet policy). I am sure however that she is full of rocket fuel. She never stops running. Unless she has fallen over near you purring and asleep. So I guess we have a foster.

Cinder spoke to his lawyer again, found out that to keep going to court it’s going to be at least another 1k if not more. While I wish we could afford that for Cinder we just cant. If I had enough money to keep trying to out gun her I would.
So instead it was reccomended that tuesday they meet at the lawyers and mediate visitation outside of court.
That is the current plan. Thus this year on June 18 we will be able to go get Dreamer and he will go to Texas again on Aug 11.

I am hopeful that it all goes as it should. I am so ready to hug that darn boy. I’ll cry. I miss him terribly.

I know I will love new baby just as much, but for now I remain unconvinced. I sure love that boy. 🙂
He snatched the part of my heart who was anti kid and smashed it into a little squishy pile of love.

Littlest boy weighed about 6lbs 10oz and still cooking as of Wed. His fingers are so chubby you can see his little knuckle indents on the ultrasound.
That is about all you can see LOL.
He is all smashed down into my pelvis ready to make his grand appearance.
3 weeks left. Or realistically any day now.

We are so blessed for all the support we have received and all the love not only Dreamer has towards him but also baby.

It’s mothers day. Yay! My first official one.
My necklace, which I know what it is, is in back order from an artist on Etsy who is custom making it. It represents both boys in a fantastic way.

Cinder got his necklace for father’s day way early. I had to have It in by an order deadline to ensure it would be here by June and it showed up WAY early.


Alot of my night is spent pacing, sitting up and trying to sleep.
It’s worth it though when I get to wake up in the morning (dog. Dead. Tired.) And feel his hiccups.

It’s 28 days left. I’m ready to.hold him.

Still working 35 hours a week. I’m still loving being at work. I’m training at customer service now so that I can hopefully apply for a front end manager by next Jan is my goal. IT may happen sooner.

Cinder is doing really well at work also. He is going to take his manager test right after he goes back to work after little one is born. So then he gets to line for management.

All in all things are going good.

32 days left

I’m still trucking along. Little guy is still carrying on.

He will be here so soon.

I’m so in love with him and I can’t wait to hold him. I’m so worried that I will be afraid to hurt him. I probably will have the fear of that, I’m sure it’s normal. He will be so small. But I also keep reminding myself that this is the same boy who has been fiercely kicking away for almost 20 weeks. The same guy who gets all bent out of shape over the doppler machine and protests it.

I’m not curious as to his hair color, his eyes, will he be darker toned like momma or pale with freckles like dad?

We got the boys room mostly set up. Older boys bed is set up and made and stuff.
Crib is kinda assembled.
We will use a pack and play for the first 6-12 weeks while he is in our room.

Ultrasound next week. I’ll know more about him then.

But look at his cake!


32.2 weeks

Baby boy is 32 weeks 2 days. He is about 3.75 pounds. Momma has finally managed a 20 pound weight gain. But it’s all baby. No weight on my face, arms, legs etc. I can still wear pre pregnancy jeans at 32 weeks. My Dr bets that I will be smaller within about 4 weeks of having him than I was before. It’s likely.

I have one more ultrasound at 36 weeks. Then they will have a better idea of how we are going to get him out. Hope is still the normal push him out way. But between his size and unwillingness to stay in a safe position they are watching him.

I’m still holding 40 hour work weeks. It’s getting harder but I’m doing it!!

About 7 weeks and he will be here


We went to ikea. We got stuff.
I’ll post pictures once it’s built.

Here is our bookshelf we built


Garfunkle helps build


Cinder builds


Ceramic cookware. Since I didn’t have any anymore


Ele Belle being normal after two days of being bizarre


Gar playing on the floor


And sheet set :3